I was daydreaming
In class again. It’s
Only the 50th time this month.
My yellowed bangs
Fell over my eyes and
I just thought of home.

For the first time
In about a year
I thought of red-
Purple hair falling
Over that same eye
And how it curtained
The tears I took to school with me.

This was the first time
I’ve stopped to think
Of nights spent sleeping
To a lullaby of raised
Voices and broken vows.

Tell me, do you remember
Dad handing me
His wedding band? No,
Of course you don’t. You’re
Stuck in daydreams, too.

Where were you
When I gave up on
The prayers? You thought
God just got too busy. I
Tell you now he stopped listening
For nineteen years. It’s a shame really.

What if we both got
What we wanted? Well,
You’d be rich and shot
A daughter. Would you
Notice me missing?
Or would you be
Preoccupied with a house
Of gold?

I was depressed
That winter. What kind of
Concerned parent scorns
A child? Any interaction led
To more raised voices before
You snarled the question.
Do you need help?
Exactly what I’ve been thinking.
Why is it that nineteen years
Of mood swings are overlooked
And I’m the one who needs the
Shrink? With that lipstick
You apply a smile and
Pretend we’re a perfect family.
I bet the neighbors could tell
A different story.

I’m writing to tell you,
I’ve grown up. I’ve grown out of you.